What Does God Think about YOU?

By Taisa Efseaff Maffey

Recently, I read something really great called The Birth Order Book.  In it, psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman discusses the differences between personality types as they relate to a person’s birth order – first born, middle child, last born, and only child.  I found this book extremely helpful in better understanding myself, my siblings, my parents, my husband, and I imagine it would provide invaluable insight for parents in better understanding their children.

One of the many things I took away from this book was the concept of “life theme,” which relates to your self-image and your sense of self-worth.  Dr. Leman writes, “I like to describe anyone’s life theme in terms of ‘I only count when…’  The way you finish that sentence will tell me about your life-style and will give me some definite clues about your birth order” (233).

Some common life themes include “I only count when…”

“…everyone likes me.”

“…I keep everything going smoothly and everyone happy.”

“…I put everyone else first.”

“…I suffer.” OR “…I’m the victim.”

“…I’m in charge and in control.”

“…everyone is impressed by me.”

“…I’m in the spotlight.”

“…I win.”

When I finished that sentence for myself, I came up with two very similar versions: “I only count when I achieve” and “I only count when I get everything done perfectly.”

Now, if you’re like me and you have accepted salvation through Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection, you already understand that you’re saved by grace.  You know you aren’t good enough and can never be good enough on your own to go to heaven when you die; you can only be made right with God through Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross for your sins.  But maybe, for some reason, you still feel like you have to be good enough to earn God’s favor for the here and now.  Maybe you feel like you have to work at pleasing Him and sometimes you feel guilty that you’re somehow disappointing Him.  It’s because I struggle with this myself that I want to address it.

All my life, I’ve felt the burden of perfectionism, but only in recent years have I realized the extent to which it has permeated my sense of self-worth, even influencing my perception of my worth in God’s eyes.  It is such a sad and even dangerous place to be when you project your own self-image and feelings of self-worth onto the Lord’s thoughts toward you.  It can mean buying into lies that range from “God doesn’t really love me or think much of me” to “I’m so great or doing such a good job that God should be granting all my desires” to “I’ve suffered so much that God owes me a break because I deserve to be happy.”  Or, if you’re anything like me, you might have bought into the lie, “God is disappointed in me unless I’m doing everything perfectly.”

Thankfully, once I figure out I have something all wrong, I go to the source of Truth that will set me right.  And the way I see it, there are two primary ways to err when it comes to our perception of how God sees us:

Either we may have this sense that God is ambivalent toward us, displeased with us, disappointed in us, or even angry at us; or we may imagine that God is pretty impressed with us – with our accomplishments, with our goodness, with our suffering – and maybe even owes us a reward.  Neither perception is true or a healthy way to view our relationship with God.  But for the purpose of this post, I’m only going to deal with the first perception:

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)

“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

If you somehow missed the gist, God loves us.  He loves us a lot.  He loves us so much that He came to earth as a man and lived a sinless and humble life only to suffer and die for our sins.  And here’s the kicker: He did it while we were still sinners.  Christ died for us as we were in our worst condition, as sinners, losers, failures, brats, jerks, no-good slobs.  If He loved us so much that He was willing to take us at our worst and call us his friends (John 15:15), then there’s nothing we can do today that will cause Him to be disappointed in us or think less of us.  He knows our weaknesses and He knows our failures.  And He loves us and wants us anyway.  He.  Loves.  Us.

 “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” (John 3:17)

[Jesus said to them,] “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

God thinks good thoughts toward us.  He wants what’s best for us, to give us abundant and eternal life; to give us a future and a hope.  This doesn’t mean we won’t go through difficult times, because difficult times come to everyone due to the fallen state of this world.  And this doesn’t mean there won’t be natural consequences for our actions if we choose to disobey God, or that He won’t discipline us like a loving father if we go astray (Revelation 3:19).  But these verses completely contradict the notion that God is some big, austere policeman in the sky, methodically slapping a nightstick into His hand as He watches us with disapproval, waiting for us to screw up.  No, He thinks loving thoughts toward us, thoughts of peace and not of evil.  He wants us to do well; He wants to give us a future and a hope.

“But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious,

Longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.” (Psalm 86:15)

“The Lord is merciful and gracious,

Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.” (Psalm 103:8)

“The Lord is gracious and full of compassion,

Slow to anger and great in mercy.

The Lord is good to all,

And His tender mercies are over all His works.” (Psalm 145:8-9)

All three of these verses come from Psalms penned by David.  If you know anything about David, you know that he committed some heinous sins.  And yet, each time the Lord convicted his heart, David would turn back to Him and repent, and God would forgive him.  I don’t know about you, but I feel like I mess up a lot.  I’m not talking about sinning per se, but I often feel like I’ve let myself down, I’ve let my husband down, or I’ve let God down.  Sometimes all three.  But these verses, these personal testimonies of David, tell me that even when we mess up – regardless if it’s in a big way, a small way, or only perceived in our own minds – God is patient with us, slow to anger, and full of mercy, compassion, and grace.  Here’s a verse from another Psalm of David’s I especially love:

“For as the heavens are high above the earth,

So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;

As far as the east is from the west,

So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

As a father pities his children,

So the Lord pities those who fear Him.

For He knows our frame;

He remembers that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:11-14)

If I’m being really honest here, that’s what I feel like sometimes: DUST.  I’ll feel like I’m not living up to my potential, not taking advantage of opportunities I have, not using my time well, I’m not as far along as I should be, or I’m just making too many mistakes.  But this verse reminds me that God recognizes my humanity; He understands my weaknesses.  And He doesn’t despise me for it – again, He’s not even disappointed in me for it! – but instead He pities me like a loving father.  It may seem strange and even offensive to think that God pities us, but check out the definition:

pity

1. sympathetic or kindly sorrow evoked by the suffering, distress, or misfortune of another, often leading one to give relief or aid or to show mercy

I’m so thankful God pities me because it means He looks upon me kindly with sympathy.  Gosh, I need that, especially when I’m frustrated with myself and feeling guilty for all the ways I’ve missed the mark.  If you’re anything like me, the best thing you can do is read verses like these over and over until they kick all those other negative voices in your head to the curb.

I know I’ve included a lot of Scriptures in this post, but if there were one that I feel carries the biggest punch, it’s this:

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1) (emphasis added)

No condemnation.  There is no condemnation when you’re saved and walking with the Lord.  No condemnation for your sins; no condemnation for making mistakes; no condemnation for not being the perfect woman, the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect housekeeper, the perfect cook, the perfect interior decorator; no condemnation for not having the perfect body.  Here’s why: When you accept salvation through Jesus Christ, God attributes Christ’s perfection and righteousness to YOU.  That means even though you’re a sinner and you’ll never be perfect, God sees you as whole, pure, and perfect through the lens of Christ’s perfect sacrifice.

Obviously, I’m not saying we can act however we want and God will be cool with it.  If you look at that last verse carefully, it clearly stipulates, “who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.”  God never condones sinful behavior, and there are always consequences to sin.  I’m also not saying we should stop trying to do our best or we shouldn’t try to improve ourselves.  But the bottom line is if we’re saved and walking with the Lord, there is no condemnation.  If and when you are feeling down on yourself for making mistakes or not perfectly meeting certain expectations, remind yourself of those two words: No condemnation.  No more.

“Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,

Because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Work Cited:

Leman, Kevin. The Birth Order Book. Grand Rapids: Revell, 1998. Print.