What Will Your Family Legacy Be?

By Taisa Efseaff Maffey

Cranston in AMC's Breaking Bad

Recently, I watched an episode of Who Do You Think You Are? featuring the actor Bryan Cranston.  For those of you who don’t know, Who Do You Think You Are? is a reality show that takes celebrities back through their family trees to learn more about their ancestors and origins.  Most episodes are interesting because they share historical context as they reveal information about the celebrities’ ancestors, but the episode on Bryan Cranston fascinated me for another reason.

The show began with Cranston sharing about how his father had walked out on his family when Cranston was only 11 or 12 years old.  It was an entire decade before Cranston even saw his father again.  As a result, Cranston really didn’t know much about his father’s side of the family and wanted to learn more.  Through the course of the show, Cranston discovered that not only did his father walk out on his family, but his grandfather and two times great grandfather abandoned their families during their respective generations as well.  In the end, Cranston learned that his father’s side of the family had a legacy of dishonorable men who abandoned their families and refused to provide for them.

This particular show made an impression on me because Ethan and I had just recently discussed at length the concept of family legacies.  We had both identified patterns of behavior handed down through generations in our family lines that we had already decided we did not want to continue in our life together and future family.  This is not to say that we couldn’t find any positive legacies in our family lines, but we were forced to acknowledge that sometimes the bad had a far greater impact throughout the generations than the good.

Of course, when I begin to analyze an issue or significant topic like this, my mind automatically goes to The Bible for a comparison, an explanation, or perspective in general.  I do this because I know The Bible to be God’s Word and entirely reliable for truth and wisdom.  In this case, my mind immediately went to the books of Kings in the Old Testament, which chronicle the entire history of Israel’s kings from 971 to 561 B.C.

"Are you a good king or a bad king?"

When you go through the books of Kings, you basically find two kinds of people: good kings and bad kings.  As most people know, kingship back then was to be handed down from father to son.  And when you read 1 Kings and 2 Kings, you see that far more often than not, the bad kings (bad men/fathers) begot other bad kings (bad men/fathers).  To me, this illustrates how easy it is to establish patterns of bad behavior (or sin, in other words) within a family and to propagate that legacy down through the generations.

To provide a little background information, Israel became a divided kingdom after the reign of Solomon.  Even though Solomon started out as a good king, in the end his heart turned away from the true and living God to worship the false gods of his many foreign wives, and he did not keep what the Lord had commanded (1 Kings 11:1-13).  For this reason, God raised up Solomon’s servant, Jeroboam, to rebel against Solomon and eventually reign as king over 10 of the 12 tribes of Israel; however, because of the covenant God made with David, God would allow David’s descendants to continue to reign over the remaining two tribes, collectively called “Judah” (1 Kings 11:26-39).  Therefore, after Solomon’s reign, there were actually two lines of kings – one for the northern kingdom (Israel) and one for the southern kingdom (Judah), until Israel was taken into captivity by the Assyrians in 722 B.C. and Judah by the Babylonians in 586 B.C.

What I love about the books of Kings in the Old Testament is how straightforward they are.  Virtually every time a new king is introduced, the author lets you know right away if he was a good king or a bad king.  One of two phrases is used to describe each king as a ruler: Either the king 1) “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, as did his father David” (1 Kings 15:11), or the king 2) “did evil in the sight of the Lord, and walked in the way of [his father/mother and/or Jeroboam (who set the precedent as the first truly bad king of Israel)]” (1 Kings 22:52).

For the record, what did God consider evil?  2 Kings 17:7-23 gives a vivid and complete account of Israel’s sins, but most notably the Israelites built high places, pillars, and wooden/molded images as idols to worship the false gods of the surrounding nations.  One of their worship rituals was to sacrifice their children by fire to Molech, the god of the Moabites.  They also practiced witchcraft and soothsaying.  Basically, they rebelled against God and turned to everything but Him for guidance and help.

Now, during this period, Israel’s line of kings were basically all bad, but Judah’s line of kings had a little more of a mix.  Even still, of the 20 kings that consecutively reigned over Judah, there were only eight God considered good.  And of those eight, even though they “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord,” six of them are mentioned with a negative little side note:

“However the high places were not taken away, and the people still sacrificed and burned incense on the high places.” (2 Kings 14:4)

Even though there were these bright spots of good kings in the line of David, most of them still allowed provision for sin, both for their descendants and for the people of Judah.  Though they had the opportunity, these good kings didn’t completely rid their future family line of the sins that their ancestors had participated in for generations, starting with Solomon.  And this proved to be a huge fail for the kings of Judah just as it had for the kings of Israel, as ultimately God punished both Judah and Israel for their stubborn rebellion, idolatry, and wickedness by allowing them to be conquered and taken captive by enemy nations.

All right, so what does all this mean and what can we learn from it?

First of all, I want you to stop and think about your own family legacy.  What sins have held your family captive over the years?  Can you identify patterns of sin and/or bad behaviors that you want to keep from continuing on down your family line?  Sin causes disruption and pain in what would otherwise be a functional, happy family.  Look for the pain, and you will likely find sin at the source.  Consider the following:

• Abortion
• Abusive behavior
• Adultery
• Alcohol abuse
• Anger
• Arrogance
• Criticism
• Dishonesty
• Disrespect
• Divorce
• Drug addiction
• Financial irresponsibility
• Gluttony
• Greed
• Laziness
• Manipulation
• Materialism
• Neglect
• Parent absenteeism
• Pornography addiction
• Profanity
• Rebellion
• Selfishness
• Sexual immorality
• Stubbornness
• Workaholism

Secondly, we need to acknowledge that the legacy of any sin in a family is passed down by parent to child.  Children learn by instruction, but they learn so much more by example.  Kids will adopt behaviors that they see and attitudes they hear.  Children also learn behaviors by what they can get away with.  If bad behaviors go unchecked, forget about it.  The Bible gives the following instruction for parents:

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

The Bible teaches that, for better or worse, if you train a child to go a certain way when they are young, they will continue to go that way when they are old.  This is great news if you are training your kids to be obedient, respectful, thankful, compassionate, and responsible people, but this is obviously bad news if you are training (allowing) your kids to be disobedient, disrespectful, covetous, self-entitled, selfish, and/or reckless.  How can you tell what you are training/allowing them to become?  Well, look at them.  What do you see?

All right, so let’s say you’ve identified some sinful family characteristics that you want to put an end to once and for all.  Or you see some behaviors or attitudes you don’t like seeing in your children, or maybe even in yourself.  Or you strongly desire to create an entirely new, absolutely glowing legacy for your family.  How do you do it?

When God initially sent a prophet to tell Jeroboam that God was going to take away ten of the tribes of Israel from Solomon and give them to Jeroboam to rule over, He also said this:

“Then it shall be, if you heed all that I command you, walk in My ways, and do what is right in My sight, to keep My statutes and My commandments, as My servant David did, then I will be with you and build for you an enduring house, as I built for David, and will give Israel to you.” (1 Kings 11:38)

That is a powerful promise right there!  God gives Jeroboam explicit instructions on how to build a strong, successful, and long-lasting legacy for his family.  But this promise was by no means unusual or unique to Jeroboam.  In the Old Testament, God regularly tells Israel that if they will simply obey Him, then blessings for them and their families will follow:

“Therefore know this day, and consider it in your heart, that the Lord Himself is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other.  You shall therefore keep His statutes and His commandments which I command you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land which the Lord your God is giving you for all time.” (Deuteronomy 4:39-40)

“Observe and obey all these words which I command you, that it may go well with you and your children after you forever, when you do what is good and right in the sight of the Lord your God.” (Deuteronomy 12:28)

“I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days.” (Deuteronomy 30:19-20)

Sadly, neither Jeroboam nor Israel cashed in on God’s promises but instead turned away from Him and did whatever they wanted:

“Yet the Lord testified against Israel and against Judah, by all of His prophets, every seer, saying, ‘Turn from your evil ways, and keep My commandments and My statutes, according to all the law which I commanded your fathers, and which I sent to you by My servants the prophets.’  Nevertheless they would not hear, but stiffened their necks, like the necks of their fathers, who did not believe in the Lord their God.” (2 Kings 17:13-14)

It always gets me how some people are so adamantly against God and obeying His instructions in The Bible.  I wish more people would realize that when they go against God, they lose every time.  I get it: Most people don’t like being told what to do, but here’s the thing… God created us and the world we’re living in and the moral code by which we will be most happy and emotionally healthy and successful.  So when God says in His Word to obey Him and to turn away from our sinful desires or inclinations, it is literally for our own good.  It’s always when we reject God’s way and chose our own way that things fall apart.  As the Lord spoke about the nation Israel, so He would say about anyone and everyone who doesn’t follow Him:

“Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep all My commandments, that it might be well with them and with their children forever!” (Deuteronomy 5:29)

So.  What will your family legacy be?  Maybe you already have a solid, happy, God-honoring legacy in your family.  If that’s the case, humbly thank God for it and purpose with all your heart to continue it.  My guess, though, is that most people can think of at least a couple sinful family patterns they’d like to keep from affecting their children and future generations.  I encourage you to take some time to meditate on this and to ask God for help to start anew with you and your family.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

“Do not remember the former things,

Nor consider the things of old.

Behold, I will do a new thing,

Now it shall spring forth;

Shall you not know it?

I will even make a road in the wilderness

And rivers in the desert.”

(Isaiah 43:18-19)