The Real War on Women

By Taisa Efseaff Maffey

A couple months ago, Ethan and I watched the latest Taken movie with Liam Neeson.  (What are we on now… Taken 3?  Taken 5?)  Normally, I’d feel bad giving a spoiler, but this movie has been out of theaters for a while now and isn’t very good anyway, so I don’t think anybody will care.

In this movie, Liam Neeson’s daughter “Kim” finds out she’s pregnant with her boyfriend’s baby and eventually builds up the courage to tell her father.  In the last scene of the movie, Liam Neeson’s character, being the cool, progressive dad that he is, gives Kim the politically correct, boiler plate line that he will support her on whatever her decision is – meaning, he will support her whether she decides to abort the baby or carry the baby to term.  Kim of course then smiles and tells him that she is going to have the baby and name her after Kim’s mother.  Everyone is happy about this decision and the movie ends.

For the next ten minutes, Ethan remained on the couch and listened patiently to me as I lectured on the hypocrisy of Hollywood for espousing pro-choice ideology while simultaneously not having the nerve to actually follow through with it on screen.  What do I mean?  This particular angle in the movie was a clear example of liberal mainstream media’s brazen push of pro-choice sentiments, followed by typical cowardly and contradictory action.

The standard storyline follows: Woman finds out she’s pregnant.  Woman has the choice to abort or have the baby, and both choices are presented as acceptable.  BUT even though each choice is equally acceptable, Woman chooses to have the baby virtually every time.  This customary, “soft” ending belies the pro-choice ideology that mainstream media otherwise regularly promotes.  In other words, if choosing to abort a baby were truly as acceptable as delivering the baby at full term, then why don’t we see both scenarios played out equally as often?  In fact, as I shared these thoughts with Ethan, several other examples of Hollywood favoring birth over death immediately came to mind:

In the movie, Juno, Ellen Page’s 16 year old character finds out she’s pregnant and goes to an abortion clinic to “nip it in the bud,” according to her own words.  But when she gets there, she runs into a classmate who is protesting alone outside.  The classmate’s words have an effect on Juno, especially the idea that her baby already has fingernails, and Juno leaves the clinic, resolving to have the baby and put it up for adoption instead.

On season four of Downton Abbey (again, sorry if this is a spoiler, but if you haven’t gotten into Downton Abbey yet, then you have only yourself to blame), Edith discovers she’s pregnant with her married boyfriend’s child.  Edith decides to abort the baby, makes an appointment at a secret abortion clinic, but then ends up backing out at the last minute, much to her aunt’s relief.  Together, Edith and Aunt Rosamund hatch a plan to travel in the future months so that Edith can carry and have the baby without anyone knowing and then give the baby up for adoption.

Rachel’s pregnancy on season eight of Friends was of course big news at the time.  Even though Rachel is single and easily could opt to terminate the baby in favor of having a child at a more opportune time in her life, she chooses to have the baby.

On season five of Frasier, Roz finds herself in the exact same situation as Rachel.  Unmarried, Roz faces crisis when she discovers she’s pregnant but, again, ultimately decides to keep the baby and raise it herself.

The last example I’ll give is an interesting one.  Towards the end of Ally McBeal’s first season, Georgia takes a pregnancy test that turns out positive.  Though Georgia is happily married to Billy at the time, she’s also in the middle of building her career as a lawyer and doesn’t feel it’s the right time to start a family.  Almost verbatim, Billy delivers the same lines to Georgia that Liam Neeson’s character gives Kim in Taken 3 – that he’ll support her on whatever her decision is.  The underlying message is that even though Billy’s the father, he doesn’t have a say because it’s a matter of Georgia’s body and therefore her decision to make.  Georgia makes it a point to tell Billy that she’s pro-choice, but that she couldn’t imagine getting an abortion knowing it’s his baby inside her.  She decides to keep the baby.  Later, she finds out the first test gave her a false positive, so she wasn’t pregnant after all.

Now why am I sharing these examples and suddenly going off about the hypocrisy of liberal mainstream media?  Because I want the real story to be told.  If Hollywood is going to promote the pro-choice stance, then I want Hollywood to follow through and write realistic pro-choice endings to their stories.  I want Juno to have the abortion at the beginning of the movie so we can watch how a 16 year old deals with the aftermath of that decision.  I want Edith to have the abortion and see how happy she is once her “problem” is solved.  I want Rachel and Roz to get their abortions and find out how they go on with their lives as normal.  I want Georgia to get the abortion and learn how it affects her and her marriage with Billy.

But Hollywood isn’t writing those stories.  Oh, I’m sure there are some out there, but at this point it seems for the most part that even Hollywood knows abortion is not a happy ending.  Abortion brings with it psychological trauma, devastation, shame, guilt, depression, and regret, and who wants to talk about that?  And so, Hollywood still aims to promote a woman’s right to choose, but then lets its women characters off the hook by making sure they choose life over death.  If only so many women in real life were as lucky to have someone looking out for them like that.

My heart has been so heavy these past several weeks as one by one these Planned Parenthood (PP) videos have been released, exposing PP doctors and executives as they casually discuss aborted babies like they were animal carcasses and the (illegal) sale of baby body parts.  Graphic pictures and videos have also surfaced of aborted babies, even of physicians and medical staff poking at and identifying baby body parts in laboratory dishes with tweezers.  It doesn't get any sicker than that.

But what upsets me the most right now, aside from the unfathomable number of innocent lives that have been extinguished by abortion, aside from the horrendous abortion procedures and protocol used, and aside from the callous attitudes of the PP doctors and executives in the videos, is the subsequent outcry of blind, unwavering support from PP advocates.  Now, this doesn’t mean that I’ve actually heard any of them defend the subjects in the PP videos.  It seems even PP supporters on some level know there is no defense to be made.   Instead, what I’ve heard are the following pathetically flimsy protests:

• The videos are highly edited.
• The release of these videos is just another tactic of conservatives to attack PP.
• This is a matter of taking away women’s reproductive health care.
• This is another example of the war on women.

When I read or hear these protests (you can’t even call them arguments), I’m tempted to shout back and refute all the dumb, senseless claims.  But then I realize there’s no point.  So many of these people have been and are still mindlessly swallowing down whatever mainstream media dishes out, and then later regurgitating whatever they’ve been told are the correct views to have.  And then there are the people who sincerely believe in a woman’s right to choose abortion.  I’ll be honest: I’ve always had a hard time trying to understand them and their side of this issue.  But when I stop and follow the issue back to its roots, it becomes simple.

For decades now, women have been taught that being a woman means being independent and self-sufficient.  Being a woman means making her own decisions and not being accountable to anyone but herself for those decisions.  Furthermore, women have been taught that being a woman means being free physically, to be sexually active at whatever time she “feels ready” and with whoever she wants, and that no one can tell her what to do or what not to do with her body.  I obviously wasn’t born during the women’s liberation movement, and yet I have received its messages from movies and TV and magazines, and I see its effects around me.

You want to talk about a war on women?  The real war on women starts with young women.  The real war on women is not teaching women to value themselves and respect their bodies.  The real war on women is correlating a woman's value with her level of sex appeal to men.  The real war on women is talking about sex like it’s not a big deal.  The real war on women is presenting sex like it’s an inherent aspect of womanhood, regardless of marital status.  The real war on women is presenting sex like it’s a required component of romantic relationships, again regardless of marital status.  The real war on women is teaching women that they can use their sexuality to get what they want, which is usually love, affection, and attention.  The real war on women is presenting sex like it’s the same thing as love.

I know, it’s so old-fashioned and prudish of me to knock sex outside of marriage.  Today’s society is way past the idea of it being wrong or even taboo.  But here’s what I see happening: I see women trying to play a game with an entirely different set of rules, and they’re losing.  I see single women who are operating under these delusions that having sex empowers them or makes them free or gets them what they want when nothing could be further from the truth.

The Bible teaches that sexual immorality (for the purposes of this article, I’m focusing on sex between two unmarried people) is not just a sin against God but it’s a sin against one’s own body, that sexual immorality defiles the body and compromises the spirit (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).  And I believe all women who give away their virginity before marriage feel this on some level, at least initially.  I knew a woman who had a chaotic home life as a child and who grew up rebellious and promiscuous but became a Christian as an adult.  She told me that she never knew a single girl who didn’t admit to crying after giving up her virginity.  Why is that?  Because it’s a sin against the body, and that registers in one’s spirit and soul.  When this happens, the woman is not empowered but left vulnerable because she has compromised herself in the most intimate way, and more often than not with someone who doesn’t truly value her and who will only be a temporary part of her life.

Not only have women been led astray to believe that they can and should become sexually active as soon as they “feel ready” and that their sexuality empowers them, they have also been taught that they have the right to get rid of any consequences that may happen as a result.  Women have been assured that pregnancy is nothing more than a mass of tissue that can be easily expelled, should it be unwanted or an inconvenience to a woman’s life.  But all this amounts to is trying to cover up one sin with another.

No matter how the media and Planned Parenthood and pro-choice advocates try to twist the facts and diminish the legitimacy and sanctity of even the smallest life, we must not allow ourselves to lose our sensitivity to what we know is right.  The Bible is clear on these points: God is the author of life, life begins at conception, and no one has the right to extinguish innocent life.  David, the psalmist and king of Israel, declares,

“For You formed my inward parts;

You covered me in my mother’s womb.

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Marvelous are Your works,

And that my soul knows very well.

My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.

And in Your book they all were written,

The days fashioned for me,

When as yet there were none of them.” (Psalm 139: 13-16)

The prophet Jeremiah also reveals,

“Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying:

‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;

Before you were born I sanctified you;

I ordained you a prophet to the nations.’” (Jeremiah 1:4-5)

Even Job in his misery acknowledges,

“Did You not […] clothe me with skin and flesh,

And knit me together with bones and sinews?

You have granted me life.” (Job 10:10-12)

By now, I’m sure someone reading this may be wondering, “But what about women who become pregnant from rape or incest?  They don’t fall into the category of ‘sexual sin.’”  No, they do not, and I can’t begin to imagine the devastation and horror a woman would feel upon learning that such a traumatic experience resulted in pregnancy.  But do the circumstances of a pregnancy make the termination of a baby’s life any less a sin?  Not according to the Bible:

“These six things the Lord hates,

Yes, seven are an abomination to Him:

A proud look,

A lying tongue,

Hands that shed innocent blood,

A heart that devises wicked plans,

Feet that are swift in running to evil,

A false witness who speaks lies,

And one who sows discord among brethren.” (Proverbs 6:16-19)

“If men fight, and hurt a woman with child, so that she gives birth prematurely, yet no harm follows, he shall surely be punished accordingly as the woman’s husband imposes on him; and he shall pay as the judges determine.  But if any harm follows, then you shall give life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.” (Exodus 21:22-25)

“I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days.” (Deuteronomy 30:19-20)

The following two clips are of women who are abortion survivors.  Each woman was aborted during her mother’s pregnancy, and each miraculously survived.  These women have voices, but almost didn’t.  And they are using their voices and their testimonies to fight the real war on women.  Because ultimately, the real war on women is teaching women that the only rights that matter are their own.

P.S.

If you are a woman who has had an abortion and repented of it, please know that this post is not intended to tear open old wounds.  This post is simply a matter of speaking Biblical truth about a current issue with the hope that people’s eyes would be opened and their hearts changed if they do not see this matter through God’s eyes.  If I have upset you, I sincerely apologize and offer this comfort:

“For as the heavens are high above the earth,

So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;

As far as the east is from the west,

So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

As a father pities his children,

So the Lord pities those who fear Him.

For He knows our frame;

He remembers that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:11-14)

Reflections on Robin Williams’ Death

By Taisa Efseaff Maffey

Robin Williams died one year ago today.  Even though I didn't know him personally, I grieved when I learned of his death.  All I could think was, “I hope he was saved.  I hope he was saved.”  Shortly after, I was moved to write the following article.  Today, on the anniversary of his death, I’m posting it again with the hope that his death will inspire eternal life in others.

•     •     •

By now, everyone has been hearing the same kinds of things in the news and reading the same kinds of things online that I have about Robin Williams’ death.  There’s the unanimous sorrow over losing such a talented, beloved actor and entertainer.  There’s certainly the shock over losing someone who seemed to have such a happy and buoyant spirit, and who brought so much joy and laughter with his larger than life performances.

I’ve read the comments that grieve the effects of mental illness and depression; I’ve read the posts that cry out against suicide and the selfishness that it entails.  I’m usually hesitant to write about things that have already been so widely written about, especially in such a concentrated amount of time, but as I have not yet heard or read something similar to my reaction to this recent news, I feel a need to put it out there.

First off, yes: I was shocked and heavily burdened by the news of Robin Williams’ death.  I feel a little silly being affected by the death of a celebrity, but Robin Williams just did so much good with a lot of his movies.  Mrs. Doubtfire, Hook, Aladdin, Jumanji, Patch Adams... These were all movies from my childhood.  Each one had heart and significance.  My parents also had a VHS tape of Mork & Mindy episodes when I was growing up.  I loved watching Robin Williams pretend to be Julia Child in the kitchen.

I particularly remember the episode, “Mork Meets Robin Williams.”  Robin Williams comes to town to do a comedy show, and people start noticing that Mork looks a lot like him.  In the end, Mork and Mindy meet him, and Robin Williams reveals to them the lonely reality of being a celebrity.  He confesses that he feels an insatiable need to please everyone by constantly delivering what they want from him.  I’ve always wondered whether that episode was randomly scripted by TV writers or whether it was in fact somehow suggested or inspired by Robin Williams himself.

But even more than the shock and sadness I felt over losing someone who still had so much more life to live and talents to share, I felt deep concern.  Along with all the emotions and opinions people have been sharing about Robin Williams’ death, they’ve also been spreading mindless fabrications of Robin Williams’ current, after-life state.  Comments suggesting that he’s now “free,” or “in a better place,” or even the wish that he “rest in peace.”  But let’s be real: Just because someone we like dies does not mean that they’re moving on to a better place.

Truly, it’s a nice – even natural – thought.  Someone dies who we love or think is a good person, so we naturally like to think that he or she must be going on to enjoy a pleasant afterlife.  And I understand the desire to pull something positive out of something tragic and sad.  Or to want someone you love to still somehow be a part of this world even after death, maybe by “looking down on us” or having some kind of invisible presence with us or influence over us.  But just because we want something to be true doesn’t make it so.

Now, I don’t mean to suggest at all that I have any sort of informed opinion as to where Robin Williams’ soul is now.  I do know that he’s in one of two places, but I won’t pretend to know Robin Williams’ spiritual state while he was on this earth.  What I do know is this:  Where Robin Williams is spending eternity entirely depends on his spiritual state while he was on this earth.

So what would it have taken for Robin Williams to now be spending eternity in “a better place,” namely heaven?

Would it have been enough if he claimed to be “a spiritual person” while he was alive?

Would it have been enough if he believed in God?

Would it have been enough if he had been raised going to church, if he had been baptized as an infant, if he affiliated with a church as an adult, if he regularly attended church services?

Would it have been enough if he was considered “A Good Person,” treated people with love and kindness, and gave money to charities?

According to the Bible, the answer to all of these questions can only be no.  The Bible says there is no one who does good, not one (Psalm 14:3, 53:3, Romans 3:10).  Romans 3:23 acknowledges that

“all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

Isaiah 64:6 puts it this way:

“But we are all like an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags.”

Take a second and look at that last Scripture again.  It’s saying that even the BEST that we have to offer – all the good things that we do, all the nice qualities that we have, all the positive thoughts in our heads and love in our hearts – is nothing more than filthy rags to the Lord when we offer ourselves to Him on our own merits.  God is so perfect and holy, we can NEVER be good enough for Him on our own; we can NEVER be good enough to spend eternity in His presence in heaven when we are so marred by our sinful humanity.

Thankfully, God did not leave us destitute or forsaken.  Everyone knows John 3:16:

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

But few people know the verses that come right after:

“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.  He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.  And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.  For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.”  (John 3:17-20)

What do these verses say?  By nature, we have a tendency to do whatever it takes so that the bad things we do and think and feel are not exposed.  We try to hide our sin or ignore it or justify it so it won’t seem so bad.  And some people love their sin – including their pride – more than they desire eternal life.  They don’t want to be told that they’re wrong or bad or that they are accountable to someone else for their actions.  But even without exposing or confessing our sins, we’re not getting away with anything; we’re not fooling God.  He knows what our sins are and He knows that they’re exactly the thing that’s keeping us away from Him – that’s keeping us “condemned.”

Contrary to popular opinion, Jesus Christ did not come into our world to yell at us, “You’re all going to hell!”  He came “that the world through Him might be saved.”  In John 10:10, Jesus explains,

“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

1 Timothy 2:4-6 declares that Jesus is

“God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.  For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself a ransom for all.”

Logically, if God desires all men to be saved and to go to heaven, and if He provided Himself as a perfect sacrifice for our sins so that we could be saved and go to heaven, then we are not doomed to hell unless we CHOOSE to ignore or reject the knowledge of the truth.  In John 14:6, Jesus proclaims,

“I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”

Apostle Peter confirms in Acts 4:12:

“Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

Furthermore, Romans 10:9 gives this assurance:

“that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

God has provided the way for everyone to go to heaven, and that is through belief in and acceptance of salvation through Jesus Christ’s sinless life, sacrificial death, and resurrection.  Note that Jesus didn’t say He is “a way” to get to heaven; He says He is the way, the only way.  People are deceiving themselves if they think they can find or create their own path to salvation.

Eternal salvation doesn’t come by sending out good karma or having positive energy.  You can’t find salvation through music, literature, or art.  You can’t be saved through romantic love or the love of a child.  You can’t reach salvation through meditation or by ridding yourself of earthly desires.  You can’t accomplish salvation by completing the 12 steps.  And you won’t receive salvation for self-sacrificially dedicating your life to noble causes.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”  (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Apostle Paul exhorts us in Philippians 2:12 to “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.”  What does this mean?  Take death and eternal life seriously.  Know where you’re going when you die.  Heaven is real, which most people seem willing to accept on some level, but hell is real too.

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.  For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.”  (Galatians 6:7-8)

In other words, don’t kid yourself.  What you choose to believe in this life and how you choose to live in this life matters when you die.  Can you say with absolute certainty that you know where you’re going when you die?  It’s a serious question, and none of us can afford to avoid it.  You also can’t afford to simply hold onto the hope that you’ll “go on to a better place”... UNLESS you have confessed your need for God’s forgiveness, repented of your sins, and accepted the salvation that only He can provide.  Nothing else will do.

So even though I’m sad that we have lost Robin Williams and the joy that he gave us as a talented comedian and entertainer, I’m less concerned with our loss or how we lost him.  But I pray with all my heart that he had a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ when he died.  It absolutely devastates me to think otherwise.